By Michaela Boehm
How do we relate intimately in this age of change, stress and disconnect?
How to keep the spark alive while attending to the challenges of life and relationships?
Most of us yearn to connect in meaningful and passionate intimate relationships that deepen and grow over time, yet we often don’t have sufficient knowledge to attend to this area of our lives.
We engage in intimacy by emulating (or rejecting) what we experienced in our upbringing and often our sexual education has been gleaned from magazines, romance novels, and sometimes even pornography.
With the ever increasing demands of modern life, the emphasis in relationship is on often on making money or raising children — over time the intimacy fades away and the tools to rekindle the spark are missing.
In my work, we introduce tantric principles to spark intimacy, deepen the heart connection, and create lasting attraction.
In the West, Tantra has often been touted as a novel way to engage in hot sex, but that notion is far removed from the original understanding of this ancient practice. Tantra can be seen as a tradition in which awakening is pursued through embodiment and union is sought through relationship and intimacy.
In reality, only a small portion of Tantra has anything to do with sex, and those practices are a vehicle to merge with the divine. There is a much larger tantric discipline that deals with allowing all feelings to be met and engaged with fully, and for each person to become deeply sensitive to what they are feeling. Here are a few tantric aspects that support healthy intimacy:
Creating Intimacy and Deep Connection
Intimacy with another begins with being connected to ourselves. This means being able to feel the sensations of our body and the emotions arising in us.
Before we can become truly intimate with another, we must learn to listen to sensations and emotions and translate those signals into responsive action. Intimacy with the present moment allows for real comprehension and connection.
The bad news is that the ability to connect with one’s own experience is rare in today’s fast paced world. The good news is that intimacy is a skill that can be learned.
Attention can be cultivated and the body can be sensitized to feel and connect intimately with oneself and another. The more feeling in the body, the more availability and power there is for relational engagement.
Relaxing the Heart Open
As we experience relationship, both in our upbringing and romantically, we develop closures and safeguards against disappointment and heartache. By relaxing and consciously opening the heart to our chosen partner we become compassionate with ourselves and the other.
The Play of Erotic Friction
Erotic attraction is the dynamic that makes sparks fly when two eyes meet across a room, fingers entwine, and lips first meet.
When partners (regardless of gender) engage in the play of erotic friction the strongest attraction is produced through their different individual expressions. Learning how to artfully play in this realm, without getting caught in gender stereotypes, is one of the tantric keys to unlocking lasting attraction.
Most of us rely on the spontaneous, magic moments of spark that occur naturally in the first flush of attraction. However, spontaneity can be elusive, which is why tantric practices offer tools to create and increase the erotic charge.
Michaela Boehm teaches and counsels internationally as an expert in intimacy and sexuality. She combines her training in psychology and extensive clinical counseling experience with her in-depth training in the tantric arts. Her teaching offers an eclectic mix of education, experiential exercises, and guided explorations. She is the author of The Wild Woman’s Way. To learn more about Michaela, visit her website.
Embodied Intimacy: Cultivate Passion to Deepen Our Connection
A One-Day Workshop with Michaela Boehm and Steven James
Saturday, June 15, 2019, 10:00 – 6:00 pm
To learn more & register, click here.