By Evan Worldwind
What is your wakeup call to slow down?
“Evan!” That was life itself, calling me, waking me up.
It was about 3am when, in my New York City home, I suddenly awoke, sweating, and experiencing a terrible feeling that I was going to die.
I silently screamed inside; this minute will be my last in my body. I will not see the sunrise again. My family will find me dead in my bedroom, wondering what happened to me.
Did he have a heart attack or commit suicide? They would want to know what happened.
My entire life cycle flashed in seconds in my head. Shaking with extreme fear, I jumped up off my bed and dashed for the bathroom mirror. I’ve got to see what is going on with me!
What I saw in my mirror was a hard shell of a man’s face looking back at me with a terrifying look in his eyes that said, “If you don’t stop looking at me like that, I am going to reach out through this mirror, snatch you and strangle you by the neck. Move, damn it!”
I stumbled out of the bathroom into the dark hallway feeling demoralized. What the hell was going on with me? Is this how death feels?, I asked myself. Then I heard, “You are not afraid of dying. You are fearful of leaving your body before doing your work. Stop hiding in your self-made cave–go out and take care of your business.”
Standing there alone, feeling shameful and angry, I began to chastise myself with years of regrets pouring out of my head. I have made a fool of myself all these years! Lying to myself and never finish anything I started!
Enough of the bullshit, I said after I finish punishing myself. I never wanted to go through this awful feeling ever again. I had received a swift kick in the ass and was wide awake that morning.
If you ask me whose voice I heard in my head, I would say that it was my father reminding me to slow down, move forward with intention, and don’t look back. If this sounds weird, please don’t judge it. You will understand later.
Before my father left this three-dimensional world, he told me, “Don’t be afraid of doing whatever you want to do.” I had forgotten his advice for “donkey years.” (This phase is the Jamaican way of saying many, many years ago.) I came through the womb once again during that early wakeup call, pushing me to slow down and breakthrough my self-imposed cave.
There is a great scene in the movie “Kill Bill” starring Uma Thurman in which she was buried alive underground in a wooden coffin. Facing death and nobody to rescue her, she slowed her breathing down, quieted her mind, focused all her attention on her fist and punched her way out to safety. The brutal training she received from her teacher that pushed her to get beyond her limitation now paid off.
As hard as some people’s experiences may seem, there is a lesson to be learned. Our past does not vanish into nothingness, but I believe it can in fact advance us into our future. We only have to slow down our lives and draw from our past the valuable lessons embedded within us.
As a member of the human family, we all have something of value to contribute to the greater good of humanity. The things that seem insignificant may require a teacher to coach us through the obstacles and help us clear the path because we cannot see our own blind spots even in the broad light. We become resourceful in the worst of times to experience the best within us. Life always gives us choices.
I decided to go the route of investing in the gifts I have received and sharing them by helping others realize we have all in fact received blessings that flow from our own internal energy reservoir.
Disciplines Create Magic
Here are three disciplines that can create magic in your life if you practice them:
1.Practice observing without judgment.
2.Listen without reacting by keeping some of your attention on the inside.
3.Look from behind your eyes.
What your eyes reveal is often a reflection of your design reality. Reacting to social behaviors or situations usually shows the emotional state we are in, that is, energy in motion.
Look for solutions on the outside, and you will forget to look inside where all your resources reside. Again, these disciplines work only if practice.
Reverse Daily Meditation
Practice a simple but very effective meditation I call Reverse Daily Meditation. It can help you increase your concentration.
Just before going to sleep, review your daily activities in reverse, starting with the last thing you did before bed and work backward to the first thing you did when you got up that morning.
Don’t underestimate this exercise. It may seem simple, but try it for a week, and you will discover how challenging it can be. I asked a friend to practice it, and he found it very hard to do. He had difficulty remembering his actions during the day.
I advised him to review his reverse day in chunks of 3 or 4 hours instead of small and details activities.
Changing Unpleasant Experiences
If there is an incident during your day that was unpleasant, imagine it to be a happy outcome and continue the reverse viewing. This meditation can also help if you are having trouble sleeping. Maybe there are some uncomfortable moments in your day that you are having difficulty letting go of, or you are trying to force something.
Occasionally, I will drift off to sleep somewhere in the middle of this exercise.
Give yourself a chance to feel it through. It’s a mental weight lifting workout without weights.
You may find discovery for yourself as I did, that you are becoming more attentive to your daily actions. Have fun fine-tuning your concentration. If any stress or tension that comes up, relax, and smile from your heart.
I encourage you to listen to the call and remember that this is your life, your design, your reality.
Evan Worldwind is a musician, certified neurolinguistic design engineer, sound healer, and t’ai chi practitioner. Growing up in the agricultural hills of Jamaica left an imprint on Evan, encouraging him to live symbiotically with nature, while implementing spiritual practices. He is a master didgeridoo player, and offers sound healing workshops around the world. He lives between Spain and NYC.