by Carla Tara
Tantra is an ancient art developed over 5,000 years ago that teaches how to integrate body, mind and spirit to create deeper connection with your own sexuality and with your lover. The immediate benefits of this integration result in greater fulfillment and more pleasure. Ultimately Tantra can take you all the way to enlightenment.
Tantra helps you recover your sexual innocence and heal from fear, shame and guilt you might still unconsciously carry from your past.
It offers practical tools to free you from those shackles and live a much freer and fulfilled life.
One of the things we learn in the practice of tantra is creating healthy boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are important because they create the safety you need to experience pleasure and love. With healthy boundaries you can relax and enjoy being yourself.
How do you find your boundaries?
You find your boundaries by tuning in and notice what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. Those feelings help you identify what your limits are.
Here are some steps to recognizing and defining your boundaries:
Develop your ‘stop right there’ request and use it at any point you feel uncomfortable with the person stepping closer.
Sometimes you might discover you are projecting something from the past to the person approaching you. You might discover that you were projecting a fear you have felt in the past when someone came too close.
Once you have this realization, you might then change your signal and let her or him a step closer. Make sure you are not overlooking your feelings. Boundaries are all about honing your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
This is actually a practice in self-awareness. If you slow down the thought process you might be able to notice what you are telling yourself when you do not want to express a boundary you have, perhaps in order to fit in.
Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. In your intimate relationships and with friends you might have resentments and other feelings and you might need support in order to express and enforce your boundaries.